Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Surprise, surprise!

This last Friday I came home from college. I kept it quiet in order to surprise my friends, and boy did I surprise them. With the help of another friend I showed up Friday night at their weekly get together. The three of them were sitting on the living room floor with their backs to the doorway. I snuck up behind them and sat down between the two I was trying surprise and put my arms around their shoulders casually. They were still waiting for a friend to come so at first they thought I was her. Both looked at me and it took about five seconds for them to register who I was. Their eyes grew wide and then they screamed and freaked out. It was hilarious and made the month of barely being able to keep it secret that I was coming home worth it. Very satisfying. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Apples

As with the stereotype of college life, I have experimented with my dinners. Sometimes this flops and I get burnt rice or a hamburger that refuses to stay together as a patty. But then sometimes I stumble across something fantastic. The other day I tried to be creative while using up some food I needed to get rid of. It sounds strange, but it was one of the best things I've ever tasted. It was BBQ sauce, Chicken breasts, yellow onion, and apple slices. I forget what kind of apple, one of the sweet red ones like a Fuji or something. It was the perfect mix. The apples were actually the best part, I wish I had used more. When I eventually go home I'm going to make it for my family and see what they think.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The things we say

“I think you have a frog in your throat.”
 “I think it’s a buffalo.”
  [Pause]
“Do you know when we say buffalo most of the time we mean bison?”

“Stop pecking at your nails”

“The hand… and the red….”

“M&M’s are magic.”

“I like the chopped up skin pieces.”

“He turned his girlfriend into a sci-fi heroine.”

"I wish my body was socialist."

"Um... there's a pirate running down the street…"

"What is that smell I smell that smells smelly?"

“Would you fry bacon off of those arms?  I could eat soup off of his abs.”

 “I'm angrier than a midget in a hurdle competition”

“I think she should just marry a four-year-old.”

“This is just way too much incest for one day.”

“I’m putting the computer in my pants.”

“My shirts coming off!”

“Yummyness smells like deliciousness.”

“Where is Jake’s body?”

“It tastes like Tinkerbelle.”

“I’m basking in your patheticness”

“We totally invented cheers. You British stole it from us.”

“You have to microwave them, then bake them, then put them in a Crockpot for six hours. What kind of baked beans recipe is this?”

“I love it! I want to be dirty all the time!”

“What does study mean? I thought it meant look at the book really hard.”

“I wanted to be secret lovers.”

“It’s a French peck.”

“I was going to tell you guys about my weekend but I forgot.”
“Did it have something to do with vegetables?”

“The trees smell like fish”

“The last time I went there the tiger population was effecting the geese population.”
“Actually, it’s the communist population.”

“Which would you rather eat- a pig or a cow?”

“It’s the Inquisition on steroids.”

“He wasn’t very nice. He was a dragon and wanted to take revenge. And he was naked.”

"If we are what we eat... does that make cannibals the only real people?"