Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The things we say

“I think you have a frog in your throat.”
 “I think it’s a buffalo.”
  [Pause]
“Do you know when we say buffalo most of the time we mean bison?”

“Stop pecking at your nails”

“The hand… and the red….”

“M&M’s are magic.”

“I like the chopped up skin pieces.”

“He turned his girlfriend into a sci-fi heroine.”

"I wish my body was socialist."

"Um... there's a pirate running down the street…"

"What is that smell I smell that smells smelly?"

“Would you fry bacon off of those arms?  I could eat soup off of his abs.”

 “I'm angrier than a midget in a hurdle competition”

“I think she should just marry a four-year-old.”

“This is just way too much incest for one day.”

“I’m putting the computer in my pants.”

“My shirts coming off!”

“Yummyness smells like deliciousness.”

“Where is Jake’s body?”

“It tastes like Tinkerbelle.”

“I’m basking in your patheticness”

“We totally invented cheers. You British stole it from us.”

“You have to microwave them, then bake them, then put them in a Crockpot for six hours. What kind of baked beans recipe is this?”

“I love it! I want to be dirty all the time!”

“What does study mean? I thought it meant look at the book really hard.”

“I wanted to be secret lovers.”

“It’s a French peck.”

“I was going to tell you guys about my weekend but I forgot.”
“Did it have something to do with vegetables?”

“The trees smell like fish”

“The last time I went there the tiger population was effecting the geese population.”
“Actually, it’s the communist population.”

“Which would you rather eat- a pig or a cow?”

“It’s the Inquisition on steroids.”

“He wasn’t very nice. He was a dragon and wanted to take revenge. And he was naked.”

"If we are what we eat... does that make cannibals the only real people?"

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